I dont like being expected to clean constantly. When some things are not even that big of a deal. Why cant everyone so uptight on cleaning relax. I dont understand it. It seriously takes over everything. It's not even very fun. If its a huge mess then yeah but if it can wait then why not sit down and relax for a while without intimidation. I dont want to have to hold constant fear of being enjoying my time here. I want to do things I want without doing things I should do sometimes such as not having any relax time. Especially after having a long day. Also, even when I try to clean at times and then someone telling me I'm doing it wrong makes me not even want to clean altogether so yeah.

Child Toy

When I was a child I had a lot of toys that I played with. Although one I still have, and everytime I look at it, it brings back my childhood. I had a stuffed dog that looked like a bear. So I grew up calling it doggy-bear. My friend Jessica still thinks its a bear. I dont exactly remember when I named it, but thats the name that always comes to mind. It's still in my room, although I no longer sleep with it I remember that it was extremely comfortable. I have no use for it much anymore but it gave me a lot of courage to go to bed when I was a kid. Like it could protect me from the snakes and spiders I talked about in an earlier blog. If you dont know what I'm saying, read the 'when i was a young kid' blog. Furthermore, it was a great stuffed creature of mine.

letter to child

Dear child,

Dont ever get caught up in the meaningless things in life. Shine your own way through, and be a star. Stand up for yourself when needed. Be your own person. Have as much fun as you can. Never expect much in life. Live for yourself and no one else. Be something no one ever expected. If you are easy going life could be much easier for you. Be around others that you can do what you want around. That enjoy you, and have fun. Try to keep busy with fun things. Lonliness can tend to eat at you sometimes when youre bored. Dont listen what everyone else thinks. Dont let life slip away from you. Live life high up to your standards. Dont back down with doubt of failing, or if someone else looks down on you, and says you could fail. Decorate your house with nice things. If you are surrounded by enjoyable things, life will be much more enjoyable for you. These are only some things in life. Much more you will come across on youre own through this maze. Some things in your life wont be easy, but you'll make it through after all. Drift through life like a star. Search for the light at the end of the tunnel.

I dont remember any of my dreams although now that i think about it something comes to mind. I was at my locker and this guy came up to me and knocked everything in my hands to the floor. Then I hit him in the face. Then his girlfriend came and knocked me to the floor, and her friend came and finished me off. Then I went unconsious and like there was a helicopter inside the school. I know it's a dream isnt it? Then I couldnt breathe and it seemed so real. This may be one of the lamest dreams but its the only thing i can remember right now. Everyone was hovering over me and talking about it and then it kind of blurred away.